This assessment helps you quickly identify your primary attachment pattern so you can begin the transformation journey with clarity and compassion.
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Think of a time in the last month when you felt stressed or triggered in a close relationship. Close your eyes and recall the situation. Select the statement below that best represents how you responded:
Notice:
Pay attention to your body's response as you remember. This immediate reaction reveals your attachment system in action.
Based on your stress response ("Stayed calm and addressed it directly"), which pattern fits best overall?
"I need to fix this NOW!" You seek reassurance, may text repeatedly, feel panicked about the relationship, worry you're "too much."
"I'm fine, I don't need anyone." You minimize the issue, focus on tasks, feel suffocated by others' emotions, pride yourself on independence.
"Come close... no, go away!" You want connection but fear it, send mixed signals, feel simultaneously abandoned and trapped.
"This is hard, but we'll work through it." You feel the difficulty but stay regulated, can express needs clearly, trust the relationship will survive conflict.
"God, where are You? Please answer me NOW!" You desperately seek signs from God, pray repeatedly for reassurance, feel panicked that God might abandon you, worry your sins are too much.
"I can handle this myself. God helps those who help themselves." You minimize your need for God, focus on practical solutions, feel uncomfortable with emotional worship, pride yourself on spiritual self-sufficiency.
"I need You God... but what if You reject me?" You desperately want closeness with God but fear judgment, alternate between intense prayer and spiritual avoidance, feel simultaneously abandoned by and unworthy of God.
"This is hard, but You're with me through it." You feel the difficulty but trust God's presence, can express doubts and needs honestly in prayer, maintain faith even when God feels distant, know His love remains constant.
Remember:
Whatever pattern you identified, meet it with compassion. Your attachment style developed for good reasons - it helped you survive and adapt. It's not a life sentence. It's simply your starting point for growth.
If you tend to move into an insecure mindset, you're in good company - 40% of people share this journey. If you tend toward a secure mindset, celebrate this and reflect on the people in your life who helped you develop internal security.
Reflection: What would change in your life if you developed more secure attachment?
Next Step: What is one step you can take to move toward security when you experience distress?
You'll be able to save a PDF of your complete assessment results and receive additional resources to support your growth journey.
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