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Discover Your Hidden Relationship
Patterns in 10 Minutes

Uncover the invisible filters that shape how you connect, trust, and relate to others
We all view relationships through invisible filters shaped by our early experiences. These
'attachment filters' profoundly influence how we connect with others and God - yet most of us
are unaware of them.

Ready to Map Your Relationship Patterns?

You'll identify your most influential relationships, then discover how you show up with each
person. This reveals both your default attachment style AND how different people activate
different patterns in you.

What You'll Learn:
•  Your primary attachment pattern (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, or Fearful)
•  How different relationships trigger different responses
•  Which relationships bring out your best (and most challenging) self
•  Specific growth steps for stronger connections

Important Note:

Be honest - this is for your growth, not judgment. Every pattern made sense in its original context.

Ready to Map Your Relationship Patterns?

Think about the people who most shape your daily experience. Consider two types of time:

• Face time: People you interact with most (in person, phone, video)
• Mind time: People you think about, worry about, or mentally engage with
Add Another Relationship (Optional)
Examples: spouse, boss, difficult colleague, aging parent, close friend, anyone who's 'under your skin'

The Two Forces That Shape Every Relationship

Relational Engagement

How much you pursue connection

• High: Seeks closeness, pursues connection, emotionally expressive
• Low: Maintains distance, self-sufficient, emotionally reserved
Emotional Composure

How regulated you stay

• High: Regulated emotions, stays calm under stress, steady
• Low: Emotional intensity, easily dysregulated, reactive

Four Ways We Show Up in Relationships

Anxious

High Engagement + Low Composure

Internal Voice: "Don't leave!"

Pursuing, Reactive, Worried

Secure

High Engagement + High Composure

Internal Voice: "We're okay"

Connected, Calm, Flexible

Fearful

Low Engagement + Low Composure

Internal Voice: "Come close/go away"

Isolated, Overwhelmed, Unpredictable

Avoidant

Low Engagement + High Composure

Internal Voice: "I'm fine"

Independent, Reserved, Composed

The Two Forces That Shape Every Relationship

Relationships to Place:
Sarah

Please use all relationships

Anxious

High Engagement + Low Composure

Internal Voice: "Don't leave!"

Pursuing, Reactive, Worried

Sarah
Secure

High Engagement + High Composure

Internal Voice: "We're okay"

Connected, Calm, Flexible

Fearful

Low Engagement + Low Composure

Internal Voice: "Come close/go away"

Isolated, Overwhelmed, Unpredictable

Anxious

Low Engagement + High Composure

Internal Voice: "I'm fine"

Independent, Reserved, Composed

Relational Engagement
Emotional Composure
Low
High
High

Four Ways We Show Up in Relationships

Relational Engagement

How much you pursue connection

Who Brings Out Your Best:

  •  Sarah (Spouse) - You operate securely

Key Insight:

Be honest - this is for your growth, not judgment. Every pattern made sense in its original context.

Your Relationship Growth Edge

Relational Engagement

How much you pursue connection

1. What patterns do you notice where your relationships cluster?

2. When you're in different quadrants, what causes the shift?

3. Which relationship feels most challenging right now?

Your Growth Recommendations
Your growth edge: Notice what triggers your shifts between patterns and choose your response more consciously.

How regulated you stay

Which relationship do you want to focus on improving?

One small shift you'll make this week:

One small shift you'll make this week:

Your Attachment Patterns Revealed

Summary Dashboard
Primary Pattern: Mixed/Adaptive
Growth Focus: Mike (Boss) relationship
Weekly Action: Pause before reacting

Key Insight:

Your attachment filter isn't your identity - it's your learned pattern. When you change your pattern, you change the entire relationship dance.

Pattern Distribution

Secure:

33%

Anxious:

33%

Avoidant:

33%

Fearful:

33%

Next Steps
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